© 2018 Aubrey Harms


100 Life Changing Conversations

I love sparklers! A sparkler creates magic. You can hold that sparkler and watch it burn down, feeling the excitement that comes with the sparks as they fly every which way, getting closer and closer to your fingertips. Or you might do exactly what you feel in the moment, twirling around, drawing a picture in the air, fully present to the few seconds you have to enjoy that sparkler. You are free to TRY anything because the picture trail left by the sparks fades away, and soon the sparkler burns out. For that brief moment in time, you are focused on, present, and free to the magic that sparkler is creating.


Discovering coaching, discovering my voice, discovering my true passion for how I want to move my life forward was magical. It was an easy decision to use my love of sparklers as the theme for my coaching. The alignment of these concepts felt perfect to me, and filled me with excitement and inspiration. But…there’s also always been a ‘but' for me when I talk about my theme, “Find Your Sparkle.”


I was sharing with you my truth. But not the WHOLE truth.


Light that sparkler, find your sparkle! Create a magical life beyond anything you thought was possible. Yes, absolutely! Sign me up, right?! But…that sparkler burns fast! And then that’s it. You’re left with just a shriveled up sparkle-stick. The spark has gone out, that magical moment is gone. 


Now what?


And THAT’S my truth. 


The mind is a funny thing - we apply meaning to everything that happens to us. From that meaning we invent a rule of what’s possible for us going forward. Growing up, I can still remember the intensely, excited feeling I would get when I thought I had the funniest thing in the world to say, or the best idea that I couldn’t wait to share with everyone. My heart would beat fast, a smile would emerge on my face, and I could absolutely envision everyone’s reactions. There would be laughter and high fives, some nods acknowledging my cleverness and the magic of collaboration would be created. And I can just as easily remember when I would burst out with that idea and be met with silence, or laughter AT me, or the even worse polite brush off and back to conversation. I can still feel how my face would burn hot, my heart would sink, and I would just get sick to my stomach. Maybe it was kids being kids, or maybe my ideas really were THAT BAD! But what matters is what I made those moments MEAN about ME. I decided that I don’t have ANY good ideas, that my way of expressing myself isn’t okay, I can’t be me, and therefore I’m not valuable. With a rule like that for myself, it’s no wonder I went into a long career of producing OTHER people’s ideas! 


And that was the missing part of the truth with my story about the magic a sparkler creates. For myself, I didn’t know where to go after the sparkler was ignited, because I knew that moment was fleeting. I’d get an awesome idea, feel all the magic and passion and excitement that comes with a new idea and then my sparkler would burn out…the motivation would wane, the fear would set in, and my passion would literally burn out. I created my own way to protect myself from the rejection of my ideas, the rejection of me. And instead, I prided myself on being able to help others make their ideas a reality, and sometimes even better than what they imagined. 


This lack of value I had for myself IS the reason I coach.


I firmly believe that if everyone knew their true value, if everyone felt heard, free to BE who they really want to be, and able to express themselves the way they want to, then we could change the world. It may seem like an impossible task, but that’s what I do! I help people create the impossible - one conversation at a time. I’ve always been good at producing other people’s ideas, and now I’m producing my own. I’ve started a project - 100 Life Changing Conversations. One single insight can change the way you move forward in your life. If this inspires you or connects with you, let’s talk!